Sun, 16 Sep 2007 13:58:17 GMT

In 11 days I'm going to venture into an experiment to see if I can move my ass out of this rut/crevasse I've fallen into. Right now it feels like the Marianas (sp?) trench. Inescapable. Uncomfortable, but familiar and defined by physical and mental limitations. Much depends on whether I actually made it into the class I want to take called Brain Dance about the study of movement on the brain. One enduring passion of my adult life has been psychology, particularly the study of the brain and how it's physical components interact with and influence what appears to be the mere mental components.

My hopes, as usual, feel like my eyes are bigger than my stomach as my mama used to say. But the way I feel right now is that if I walk away with just one really useful insight, then it will be worth the time, money, and effort. Besides, I have to do something new. One of the definitions of insanity is when we continue to do the same thing over and over, but expect different results.

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 22:56:48 GMT

Today it became clear that spring is coming to my life. I've been watching for trillium, but I've only seen a new shoot--it was so tiny as to be barely recognizable as such. And I'd count the daffodils as signs, but this year they started coming up in December, so that hardly counts. But I finally got my hummingbird feeder up and saw my first one this morning. It was so small that when I first saw it I wasn't sure it wasn't a fly. I got up to make sure and there was the smallest hummingbird I've ever seen. So on this very gray and rainy Saturday, I was given the promise of spring I've been waiting for. Having daylight savings moved up has really messed with me. I catch a bus at 6:15 or so every day, and I had just started using the wooded path again and listening to my favorite songbirds. Though it is still light when I get home most days.

Light and beauty are so important for humans; for me anyway. Not that I'm opposed to finding joy in the dark (pun intended). I just find that by the end of winter it is very much more difficult for me to maintain a healthy, forward-looking attitude and incredibly easier to think of endings and drastic, anger-filled actions.

This week I discovered a book I'd set aside and forgot about: The Road to Dune. The authors are listed as Frank Herbert, Brian Herbert, and Kevin J. Anderson. It has been a joy to read, as it is a combination of stories, biography, and semi-autobiography of the creation of the Dune universe. It contains a proto version of the main storyline, notes from Frank's collections, letters from Frank to various people regarding the writing of Dune (Poul Anderson, Campbell, Ellison, his agent, and various publishers on why it was an impossible book to pupblish), passages that were cut from the "Analog" serialization which were never put back, and short stories (I'm not sure who finalized these versions) placed in the Dune universe. The introduction was written by Bill Ransom, a man who I was able to observe teaching when I worked at The Evergreen State College, and who considered Frank to be one of his best friends. They co-wrote an excellent trilogy that began with The Jesus Incident. When I moved to this side of the state in 1985 to attend Evergreen, I had as part of my agenda to go to Port Townsend and meet Frank. Unfortunately, he was already sick and died sometime in 1986 to my great sorrow. Anyway, Bill's intro provides some interesting insight into Frank's psyche and life.

Now I'm just getting maudlin. To match the tears falling from the eaves outside my window as I sit in my little "treehouse".

Musings